Welcome to anti-recipes:
a simpler way of cookin'
Okay, so I have a confession. I am not the poster child for clean, perfect, keto. I am just trying to make a low carb lifestyle work for me. I am a lazy cook and I eat out a LOT. I rarely open up cookbooks or follow recipes. I work full time and my husband works swing shift. By the time I get home from work, the last thing I want to do is follow some complicated recipe that requires me to get out every measuring cup and mixing bowl I own. Then, end up with a sink full of dirty dishes (don’t even get me started on how much I hate washing dishes). I may whip out a recipe for something I want to make for a holiday or special occasion, but it is certainly not a part of my daily routine. I honestly feel a bit embarrassed when people ask me what recipes I make and I don’t really have many to recommend. I think it is a big misconception that when you start keto, you have to start cooking every meal from scratch using complicated recipes. That is just simply not true. I feel most people don’t live out of a cookbook in their daily lives and you do not have to do so while living a low carb lifestyle either. I do have some go to meals I enjoy making but they are so simple, I feel I could hardly call them a recipe. This is why I came up with Anti-Recipes. I want to share these kind of food ideas with you. Simple ways of cooking that do not require measurements or complicated instructions. You can put your own spin on them to fit your life. If you are here looking for actual, well written recipes with macros and measurements – I started a Pinterest page where we can share recipes created by people who actually cook a lot (not this gal). Send me some recipes you enjoy.
Anti-Recipes
Holy Grail kale
Ingredients: kale, bacon grease, salt, seasoning
One of my first Anti-Recipes I started making early in my keto journey was this kale. I am a firm believer that bacon grease makes everything better. To make this just get some kale and throw a spoonful of bacon grease in a hot skillet over medium heat. At least enough to coat it thoroughly. If you don’t have bacon grease (first of all start saving that grease honey), other oils such as coconut will work as well. Throw a couple handfuls of kale in the pan. I like to season it with lots of salt and pepper, garlic powder and red pepper flakes. Toss the kale to get it covered in the oil and seasoning. Keep tossing for a minute or two until it starts to cook down. Sometimes I also like to spray some olive or avocado oil over the kale while I am tossing it as well just to make sure it is well coated and full of good fat. Now, pat yourself on the back for making kale that doesn’t suck.
cauli-rice: the side that goes with almost everything
Ingredients: cauliflower rice, butter, salt, seasoning, optional - bone broth
I love that many grocery stores are starting to carry riced cauliflower in their frozen sections. My husband’s favorite is the cauliflower & broccoli rice. It is so easy and you can either throw it in the microwave to cook according to the package directions or throw it in a small pot. I like to put it in a pot and “doctor it up” as many of us West Virginians say. I love to throw in lots of butter as it is cooking. Then season with my usual salt, pepper, and garlic powder. If I have more time, I like to pour in a little chicken bone broth and let it cook down. This really adds extra flavor to the “rice”. You can really customize it any way you like. When in doubt, add more butter. Then, add more salt for good measure.
Ten Minute Meat
Ingredients: big ol' chunk of fatty meat, salt, seasoning, lots of butter
People underestimate my laziness. Many think a 30 minute dinner is quick. I am more into a 10 minute dinner. I got better things to do than slave away in the kitchen, like look at instagram on my couch. I love to take a fatty cut of meat like ribeye or pork chop and cook it in a copper or cast iron skillet. Take ya a big ol healthy scoop of butter. I like Kerrygold brand. Throw it in the skillet and let it melt. Preheat your oven to 450ºF. Take your fatty meat and season both sides with salt, pepper, and garlic powder. Sear it in that delicious butter for 2 minutes on each side. Throw it in the oven for about 4-5 min depending on the thickness. I like my steak medium rare. Devour your steak, win at life. Bonus points if you make it with holy grail kale or cauli rice. You can remove the steak and use the same skillet. My husband loves when I cook cauliflower rice in with the steak drippings. They say it is good to let meat rest for 5 minutes before eating anyway. But I don’t always have that kind of time. The couch is calling.
meal replacement coffee
Ingredients: coffee, MCT oil, collagen peptides, stevia, heavy cream or almond creamer
So many people ask me if I drink “the bulletproof coffee” like there is only one specific way to do it. I feel that bulletproof coffee can be whatever you want it to be. Whatever gets you going and keeps you full to your next meal if you are choosing to do a meal replacement. I have made many different variations and it varies depending on what I have on hand. Here is the breakdown of how I usually do it. I will post a link below to the products I like but they are by no means “required”. There is no right or wrong. I like to brew a cup of strong coffee, then add a couple squirts of MCT oil. I also like to add a scoop of collagen peptides for a little protein. Then, one packet of organic stevia. Lastly, I top it off with either heavy cream or a sugar free almond milk creamer. This really keeps me focused in the morning and keeps me from being hungry until lunch. Some people like to put butter, ghee, or coconut oil in their coffee. It is personal preference. Try it out and see what makes you feel the best. If you choose MCT oil, start off with small amounts (like a tsp or less) and work your way up to avoid stomach upset. I also enjoy using a milk frother to mix the ingredients in my coffee. Just don’t fill your cup to the brim before using said frother, or your favorite white shirt will never forgive you. Not that I know from experience….
Eggs and salmon
Ingredients: eggs, smoked salmon, salt, pepper, butter
I am fortunate to get to work from home a couple days a week. On these days, I love to make scrambled eggs and salmon for my lunch. It’s so quick, easy, and nutrient dense. It really fills me up until dinner. We all know how to make scrambled eggs. It’s not difficult or something a recipe is needed for. But here is the breakdown of what I like to use. I like to again, melt some kerigold butter in a skillet (notice a pattern?). I then just crack 3 or 4 (or however many you like) pasture raised eggs in the skillet and just break them apart with a silicone spatula. You can add heavy cream and whip them up first if you like. I just do it this way because I feel that using lots of real butter makes them just as good. Once the eggs are cooked through, I remove them from the skillet and get out my package of smoked wild Alaskan salmon. You can find this in most grocery store deli sections. Make sure it says wild Alaskan. Salmon farming is no bueno in my opinion and luckily, it is illegal in Alaska. The kind I get is precooked and ready to eat but I like to throw a few pieces in the skillet just long enough to heat it through. I will post a link below to the kind I buy. Cover your eggs in lots of salt (I prefer Redmond Real Salt) and pepper and enjoy. Don’t fear salt. It is very important to get enough salt when you are on keto. Que the 2014 “crave that mineral” memes with the goat licking salt on the side of a mountain.
zucchini noodles "zoodles"
Ingredients: zucchini, sugar free marinara, parmesan cheese, optional - ground beef
I love making zucchini noodles. I used to miss pasta when I started keto. I really didn’t think I would enjoy zucchini noodles as much as I did the first time I tried them. I have tried multiple ways of making them. Some internet sources convince you that you need to saute them or bake them or make them some crazy way. I honestly like them better straight outta the microwave. That’s right, I said microwave. I just cut the stem off the zucchini and go to town with my cheap amazon spiralizer. I then like to top it with Rao’s marinara (or any sugar free spaghetti sauce). Rao’s is pricey but it is my favorite. I have found other good ones at the store as well. You just have to check the labels. You want a sauce that has around 4 or 5 carbs which would just be the carbs from the tomatoes. And no added sugar in the ingredients list. Now, you can brown some ground beef and make a meat sauce if you prefer. I do that sometimes if I have ground beef on hand. If not, I just throw the zoodles covered in sauce into the microwave for a minute or until hot and top with some parmesan cheese. Eat and high five yourself because you just made a bomb AF five minute dinner in the microwave.
avocado tuna salad
Ingredients: one avocado, packet or can of tuna, salt, pepper, optional - hard boiled egg
I got my best friend, Abbi hooked on this one. I love to make this avocado tuna salad as a quick, nutritious lunch. Basically, you just mash up a whole ripe avocado in a bowl, add salt and pepper, and throw a pack of tuna on top. This is so simple but so good (if you are into tuna). I love the flavored packets of tuna. My favorites are ranch and jalapeno. I will also mash up a hard boiled egg into the salad from time to time. Yes, this looks like baby food. No, I don’t care. Let me eat my baby food in peace, would ya?
crock pot lit'l smokies
Ingredients: Lit'l smokies, sugar free BBQ sauce, green bell pepper
This is one of my go to items to make for cookouts, potlucks, and parties. People usually can’t believe that it is made with sugar free BBQ sauce. Even my nieces and nephews love this dish, so it is kid approved. I like to use Hillshire Farm Lit’l Smokies, but other brands make similar products. They are just mini smoked sausages. I just throw a couple of packs in a small crock pot, add some chopped green bell pepper, and add enough of my favorite sugar free BBQ sauce to cover the sausages. I prefer G Hughes Hickory flavor BBQ sauce. This dish only needs to be heated, it does not need to cook for a long time. Once it is heated through, you can set your crock pot to the keep warm setting and its good to go for the evening. So, if you want to be the favorite aunt or uncle at the family Christmas party, bring the “little hotdogs”. And also, the coolest presents. These are the rules.
cousin's cabbage soup
Ingredients: two small heads of cabbage, one large can of tomato juice, two lbs of sausage or ground beef, seasoning
My cousin and her husband have been making this soup for years. There are two versions of it. You can either use ground beef or ground sausage. I prefer sausage, my husband prefers beef. I usually win because I am the one cooking it. Beggars can’t be choosers. Ya eat what mamma cooks ya. You start by browning your preferred meat. While the meat is cooking, chop up enough cabbage to nearly fill up the pot you will be using. The cabbage will cook down. Throw the cooked meat and cabbage together in the pot. Then, add in your tomato juice – just make sure it is plain tomato juice with no sugar added. Season it however you like, we normally throw in salt, garlic powder, onion powder, season salt, and cayenne pepper. Put a lid on your pot and let it simmer for about 30 min or until the cabbage is soft and cooked down. Give it a few stirs while it cooks.